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Jeans_and_a_Tee
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Name: Kayla
Location: Shreveport, Louisiana, United States
Birthday: 9/9/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: God**, Music, Friends, ROB JONES!
Occupation: Student
Industry: Research
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/2/2005
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| I know music, I lived music once. I have taste still, my ears are unbroken and unclogged. I know the difference between a number of vocals, a number of guitar strings, and a number of beats. I know my music.
The person I have become, that person doesn't let the music in. She fights off the tunes, the drums, the solos, she refuses to know any new songs. This person is hard, stubborn, and cold. She has been let down, but not beat down!
I know what I want, and it's not to tune the music out. I miss the glory days, yet I am content with making new ones. But the fact is, forget the music, forget the friends, and I'm stuck with the feeling that I was a better person. I miss who I was in spirit and in will. I miss knowing what I wanted and how to get there. I miss the love for the music and the love of company.
I miss my writing, oh my writing. So why not take what's mine and be her again, why not have the passions and have the songs?
Because along with the writing, along with the music there was a lot of hurt, there was a lot of misunderstandings and there was a lot of memories! And the fact is, I no linger have that pain nor do I have the good memories of before, it's the bad memories that I have and it is those that keep me from turning back. I only have love now, I only have dreams, but I still miss the music.
Music, a token of war, I had to let it go, to let the good memories die. I no longer wanted to dream of that life.
BUT I still know my music, and I still know all of the words and all of the cords, I still have the guitar, and I still have my bad memories to remind me, I can become more.
Too bad the music had to die. | | |
| I'm misserable yet very happy. I'm content yet on edge. I'm hungry yet I feel so full. I'm cold but I'm sweating. I'm shaking in fear yet I'm confident and poised. I'm doing that Whitman thing. I'm contradicting everything. I can't spell right now I haven't taken an English in years. I can't hear right now, my earphones are all worn out. I can't breath right now, my lungs are tacky. I'm sitting and standing in the same place at the sane time one leg twisted around the other. My lips are purged my tongue is weak. I bite the lip that feeds me, I shake the hand that greeds me. I'm not alone but I am the lone. I'll lie down for a while and catch some Zs my net one by one like lightning bugs. They glow in my mind these dreams I can't out in my favor. Who says you can control your own dreams, then what are nightmares for. Some twisted minds for dreaming up such scary dreams, some tired people who just fell asleep. Freud smoid. I liked that guy. Haven't we noticed the males have no female friends. Haven't we noticed that if they had to lay out a list I might come in 15th. 15th?? Is that even creditable? Depends how many people are in the friend race. I'm the same person I'm in the same 15th place, I just might have gotten knocked down a few turns, I just might have slowness down in a few curves. Some people may have just came and took my place. | | |
| Do you love me?
Do you still find me atractive??
Why can't I sleep? Drama overwhelms me
I layed in that bed so cold... You were there too
I spun my web and you were stuck
I batted my eyes and you were stuck
Sex isn't what's on my mind when I think of you
But I want you don't get me wrong
you can hold me like no one else
you check on me like no one else
you answer when I call- you call to me
you love me... That's what I have faith in
I control that- you like that I control that
no exceptions... We don't fuck we love
that was too much!
I miss the music/ I miss the good sounds
I miss caring about my music... I miss knowing album names
I've let myself go- I'll pick me up now
degrading
insanity
I can't sleep
degrading
insomniac | | |
| Sit, stare, sit, stare... So on the point is there
Sunday afternoons... Well Sunday nights
movie night which goes along with family night
Love/ Anniversary- that's what I've cone to live for
Animal calls and fireplace pals- mmm the joys of life
I can't wait till your warm body is close to mine... Again
I can't wait till those lips meet again- as if for the first kiss
- ha because you know you can kiss-
Some people can't master the challenge some whom are blind
Strong arms/ the strongest- those are my favorite inch of you
there are no last word from me to you-
I could say them all and then over again!
You are not weak like some- you have heart
you care about family, friends, God, and me-
making sure I know I come first- have I made too many rules
I think I rule you- you just want me happy- I just want a robot
no I don't want a Robot/ I want you, as you come
That's what she said | | |
| You are being so harsh! I know I deserve everything you say and more/ why can't I get past the past and why was I so hateful???
You're right I need to move on- but I need your forgiveness-
here's one for old times
I'm sorry- I appologize
I was harsh
these words now are not lies
I believe in what I'm saying
I need you to do the same
we can't get to the future until I'm over what I've done
I went to far- way more than once, I shut you out
you were there through and through/ this ways on me a ton
can you forget the past/forget the now- tell me what you need
tell me what hurt the most I want to listen
will you love me still forever- you said it at least a million times
will you go back and remember a few months ago/ remember why you felt the way you did
will you give me one more chance to say I AM SORRY!
Will you respond to me please
damn I just assumed it was about me: you're probly thinking how big headed of her!
I am not proud/ I am not self rightious/ I am the old me
I'm that girl that needed a smile bc I was out/ that needed you to listen, which you were great at
please/ you hate begging/ but pleaseee pleaseee say something, something nice and with meaning something telling me I still have hope/ bc I don't want to feel hopeless- don't tell me it's hopeless
and most of all don't just not tell me anything- I need a long response-
a long meaningful response! Please??? Thank you??? I LOVE YOU KED :) | | |
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